Muted

Yes! I am one of those people. I actually turn down the radio when I am lost in the car. Apparently, I need quiet to think. As I study, I love mornings I can sit on my covered back patio and enjoy the view and quiet. It took me a long time to learn to respect and see the benefit of quiet. I have always been a kid that needed background noise and still do for many things I do. I have also not been known to be the best listener. Silence and listening go hand-in-hand. Being able to handle quite ...silence is hard. Silence is disturbing. Silence leaves us with the thoughts we don't want to think about; those ideas, worries, concepts that require more bandwidth that we are able to give at the moment, or for that matter, want to give time to. Silence challenges us to give thought to those things we shove away from our minds. When having a conversation, silence is painful. While it is critical to listen through the silence, it is hard. For me, I want to fill the gap created by speechlessness with my words, my thoughts and my feelings. I mean anything seems better that waiting for someone to speak.

People are muted when the words won't come. People are rendered speechless when they are fearful of saying what is on their heart because they could be seen in a bad light. As a pastor, in visiting with people, when I am able to censor myself and allow others to take all the time they need to speak up, I find that often people have been shut down from speaking for so long, they have trouble finding their voice.

"Children should be seen and not heard." My peers were taught that. I really wasn't. Being an only child in a home with my young mother, my even younger aunt and my indulgent grandmother, I was given platform from day one. The phrase in our household was, "You can't spoil smart children." So speaking up for myself was encouraged and has rarely been a problem for me. As I age, I have had to learn to listen and to allow others to speak. I am still learning. My experience is not the same for many people. Until the early 1980's girls were taught to be pretty and quiet and not to put forth their voices. If they spoke up in school boys would not like them because they seemed to smart. In business, we would seem bossy and the other "B word." While that sentiment has shifted...a little...many women still are silenced in the work place. 

Slaves were taught to work and blend in with the wood work. As the years progressed, African Americans were not given much more of a voice than they had as slaves. A few came forward to speak. Some in peace, Martin Luther King. But take note, he was murdered and the peaceful protests turned violent as many of those protesting were silenced by tear gas and billy clubs. When Malcom X tried to speak up with more voracity he was deemed a criminal. Over the years black voices continue to be silenced. I have friends raising black sons and daughters. They have to teach their children, "Don't put your hands in your pockets." "Don't put your hoodie on." "Don' the outside with no shirt on." "Don't be out too late." "Don't touch anything you aren't buying." "Never leave a store without a receipt and a bag, even if you only buy a pack of gum." "Never let it look like there is an altercation between you and someone else." "Never leave the house without your ID." "Don't ride in your car with the music too loud." "Don't stare at a Caucasian woman." For girls, "Don't stand around on main streets." "If you are stopped randomly, don't talk back. Be extra polite and compliant." "If you ever get stopped, immediately put your hands on the dashboard and ask before you reach for your license." These are just an example of what I have heard when I listen. These are lessons that keep their children alive. Lessons I have never really had to teach any of my children. 

When we all rallied in our community to put up white crosses to show our love for Jesus last fall, I was one of the first to do so. I was happy to do so. I am still glad I did. When I took the time to be quiet and listen, I now know some people wish we had chosen a different way to honor and show our love for Christ. A white cross, lit up, in a yard is a horrific memory for some who had relatives terrorized in the same way.

Being silent allows us to learn. Being quiet, even if it takes a really, really, really long time allows people who have learned to remain quiet, to find their voice and speak up. Silence allows for the truth to be displayed.  In the midst of a violent, unwarranted death sentence, Jesus remained silent. His silence showed God's glory.

Today, as I study I will meditate on, one single passage. Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." God will give me wisdom, insight through those God gives a voice. That is how God works. As I am silent, I will wait for those that God feels need to speak, to find their voice. And then I will remain silent and still as I listen. Basically turn your voice down, so you can hear the directions to where we need to go.

Today:

• Read a book.
• God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason
• Listen to someone who needs to speak.

A selection of good books to read to learn about racism