Fin’s cat-likeness shows up in human hugging moments. He only cuddles when it is his desire, not yours. It is short lived, unless I am trying to sleep and he wants his chin scratched. When it is over, it is over and often it is over before it begins.
AnnaBelle wants to touch but she does not want you in her face. She doesn’t need to be held or cuddled. She doesn’t seem to like it.
A friend kicked off a debate with a simple Facebook post a couple of days ago. I know that statement isn’t particularly shocking but the debate might be. It was about hugging. My friend has been quite ill of late. She has not tested positive for COVID 19, however she has had some other illnesses that have piled up and have left her with a compromised immune system. She is ill enough, that even without COVID 19, she would probably be wearing a mask in most situations.
Her post: “PSA: People wearing masks DO NOT want you to hug them. They are wearing them for a reason. People who are not wearing masks may not want you to hug them either. I wish y’all would quit making me be rude to you by having to say I don’t want you to touch me. Thanks.”
I felt her. But not due to illness. I am not a fan of hugging. It has nothing to do with illness or germs. Although I know many that would hug all day long in a mask.
Hugging is a unique concept. I often wonder, as a female pastor in the south how acceptable it is to hug or touch someone? While it may sound safe to avoid all physical contact to not offend anyone, the lack of touching might imply cold attitudes or indifference in interpersonal relationships that would also hurt others.
Why do they and why do I not want to hug? As I study, I think of the passage from Romans that urges us to greet everyone with a holy kiss. Other passages about that very greeting often includes throwing in a holy embrace. Paul tells the churches in Rome, Thessalonica and in Corinth to greet with a kiss and/or an embrace. He tells Timothy to lift “holy hands,” in 1 Timothy 2:8.
The actual point not being the kiss, the embrace or even the lifting of hands, but the holiness of the action. What Paul and even Peter were asking of the new followers of Christ, was to greet everyone as you would greet a beloved family member because through the new life given to them in Christ, being made holy, they were part of a new family. They had become sons and daughters of God and now have many brothers and sisters.
They urged holy physical contact during a violent time of division and hate. Prior to Christ’s coming, people were enslaved, persecuted and engaged in violent wars with acts of war crimes that were unspeakably brutal. God sent Christ to erase the division, to lift the fog of violence and oppression and to unite His Created. Paul was teaching that the holiness of genuine affection would release us from discord and conflict.
But do we need to actually touch to show affection? Probably not. In Jesus’ culture, hugging and kissing a cheek of a friend was not the norm. It truly took someone aback. Today we have cheapened hugging and kissing through shallow sentiment and sometimes those who have used physical touch in a warped, sick way. None of this affection is holy. With holy affection being the key, we can achieve Paul’s ideal for greeting by making eye contact, a rarity in today’s distracted culture. Warm, heartfelt inquiry of health, soul or mind shows true care. A smile goes a really long way. Please know, I am not trying to take away those warm embraces from you huggers. I even need one now and again. I know of a few friends that really need a hug right now but know, what you want may not convey the same message to another. If we truly want to greet with familial holiness, we should know, or at least take the time to get to know the person, as we would our brothers and sisters and then greet them in a way that suits their needs...maybe even with a holy fist bump.
Today:
👩🏽💻 Greet someone with holiness
👩🏽💻 Truly look at others as family because God is your Father
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